Shears & Snares

9 more to go: On positivity.

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 12:50:21 -0800

I’ve noticed a trend lately in social media of talking a lot about positivity, positive energy, thinking positively and other similar platitudes around how our attitudes impact our lives and the world around us. I get very polarized around this sort of thing. On one hand, I think trying to be positive is a good thing for an individual and their overall mental/emotional well being. But I don’t necessarily buy wholesale the idea that such a thing has a huge impact outside of the individual. And I also am not a fan of the demonizing of any kind of “negative” thoughts or words and how it brings bad things to people. Because sometimes things are shitty and I think denying that is equivalent to trying to keep a cork in a bottle of champagne that’s been violently shaken. Eventually, shit is gonna explode.

I also feel like it’s a larger extension of people not wanting to hear other folks’s bad stuff because it makes them think of their bad stuff. And a lot of things are shitty right now! People are broke or jobless or struggling intensely even while employed. Health care is a mess, people have to throw fundraisers and start Chip-Ins to pay hospital bills and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Now I do believe that dwelling in negativity does no good either. But I am not so naive as to think that keeping my thoughts eternally positive is all it takes to turn things around. I have known wonderful, positive, good people who have still died from cancer or lost their job or were economically blindsided. And it’s okay to feel shitty about that! This culture of Oprah and The Secret and posting a fucking picture of a waterfall with quotes from some long dead eastern philosopher often feels so divorced from reality and designed to blame and shame people if they’re ever feeling shitty about their shitty life situation. When I would talk to my Dad on the phone and he would tell me he was scared of dying from cancer I didn’t tell him to just buck up and think positively and here’s a quote from so and so. I did my best to honor his fears and hold them and listen and do what I could with my words and my love to maybe soften those razor sharp edges just a bit.

Ultimately, people can think and do what they want to think and do. I’m just real burned out on this unbalanced, jejune clinging to the idea that a positive mindset cures all. And if that just makes me negative then so be it. But I think it makes me alive and realistic.

10 more to go: Why Wonder Woman?

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 21:13:00 -0800

37 years ago tonight, the pilot episode of “The New Adventures of Wonder Woman”, with the head-scratching title of “The New Original Wonder Woman”, aired for the first time on national television. At the tender age of 2 and 3/4s, I can’t say for sure if I watched it. But I know I was there for most of the original, three year run of the series. And for many more years of reruns that followed on up until tonight, when I re-watched the pilot for the zillionth time courtesy of my treasured Wonder Woman DVD collection. If you’ve met me, you know I currently have four images representing the Amazing Amazon tattooed on my arm:

And the most common question I hear upon seeing my tattoos is “Why Wonder Woman?” I often want to answer “Well, why not?” Partially because I don’t get that everyone else doesn’t totally adore her and because it’s sometimes hard to put into words. It feels silly to wax rhapsodic about a fictional character, especially a superhero. Especially as a nearly-40-year-old adult. But I can’t help it. I absolutely love Wonder Woman! But I guess I’ll try to give a little bit of an explanation. I think, in some ways, it’s as simple as how deeply things can make an impression on you as a child.

Like I said, I watched the show religiously growing up. As much as I later grew to read and love the comics (sometimes less, sometimes more), the TV show was really my gateway to Wonder Woman. And, as such, Lynda Carter’s embodiment of her became mega iconic and mega heroic for me as a child. She was my first and biggest pop culture idol for sure. And as skimpy and gaudy as her costume could be (and it shrank a bit when the showed moved from the 40s to the 70s), she wore it with such grace and dignity. Especially when compared to the awkward shots of poor Adrianne Palicki in her super tacky costume for the ill-fated 2011 reboot pilot. But aside from how she wore the costume, it was her whole aura. She really embodied the way Wonder Woman was portrayed for years: confident, strong, poised, passionate, compassionate, determined and, above all, just. She really did see people as equal and often sought to reform wrongdoers instead of simply just trouncing them with a powerful punch. She was a champion of the downtrodden and an enemy of the oppressive. And anytime a child appeared on the show (or in the comic), he or she was guaranteed to have an adventure with Diana. And to be treated with love, respect and compassion despite being so young. As an awkward, asthmatic kid who did not exactly present as super butch, I always felt like Wonder Woman would’ve embraced me and been kind to me, even encouraging me in the face of peer adversity. Plus, that magic “Purple Healing Ray” the comics always talked about would’ve been pretty handy for my bunk lungs.

And beyond that was the fantasy of it all: How cool would it be to spin around and have a flash of bright light herald a fantastic new me? The secret identity aspect of a lot of superheroes was something I really identified with. Especially the ones who had a meek or somehow mock-worthy alter ego that they hid behind. I think I knew if I could just get past some of my personal hurdles I could show people there was something amazing about me underneath it all. But, like I said above, Wonder Woman would have probably shown me how I was amazing just the way I was. In the early interpretations of her character, she didn’t so much have super powers as she did have skills and improved strength from centuries of Amazon training. She was the best of her people, but her people were still strong and powerful in their own right. And she was all about showing people the strength they had in themselves. As corny as it may sound, I think that’s what I always loved the most about her character; she gave me a confidence in myself that kept me strong even in really difficult times. And sure, she’s completely fictional. But as a kid, her words and actions really resonated for me.

Tonight, while watching the 1975 pilot episode, it occurred to me that there’s another value Wonder Woman supplied me with: feminism. The first season of the show, set in World War II era America, was very much steeped in feminism. While some of the terminology and dialog around it can seem a bit cheesy, it was still an impressive feat for an action/adventure TV show. But in that sense, they stayed very true to the original 40s era comics and the feminist values of Wonder Woman’s creator, William Moulton Marston. In a scene where Diana fights Marcia, a Nazi double-agent posing as Steve Trevor’s military secretary, she ties her to a chair with her golden lasso and, after extracting some information from her, takes a moment to share a bit of consciousness raising with her:

“‎No, the Nazis don’t care about their women. They let you fend for yourself. And any civilization that does not recognize the female is doomed to destruction. Women are the wave of the future. And sisterhood is stronger than anything.”

I think between that and my remarkable mother, I know where the early seeds of my feminist values were planted! I could go on and on about the comics and her many origins and my favorite versions/portrayals of her (and how much I do not love what DC has done with her in the New 52), but I think I’ll leave it there. On the anniversary of the first episode of one of my favorite television shows, I’m as grateful for the creation of Wonder Woman as ever. What can I say? She’s my hero.

Drumming heroes, in action. Row 1: Janet Weiss, David...

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:16:00 -0800

Drumming heroes, in action.

Row 1: Janet Weiss, David Narcizzo

Row 2: Melissa York, Gina Schock

Row 3: Clem Burke, Patty Schemel, Rachel Carns

Row 4: Scott Plouf, Tobi Vail, Angie Heaton

12 more to go: Give the drummer some.

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 12:48:00 -0800

Above is one of my favorite photos of my playing the drums. It was taken by the ever talented Geof Teague at the “farewell for now” show my longest running band, Ex-Boyfriends, played before going on hiatus in 2010. I like the photo because I look both super pro and super dorky what with my usual upper lip biting thing I often do when playing. The other day I realized I’ve been playing drums for almost twenty years, which is kind of crazy! And I love it as much as ever.

I started playing drums in college, somewhere around my sophomore year I believe. There was a tiny, dank practice room in the basement of one of the dorms and a friend had a ramshackle kit set up that I would go tap away at, trying to unlock the mysteries of the beat. My dear friend, Anna - whom I had met on Admitted Students Day at Sarah Lawrence College - opened up a world of music to me that would inevitably set me on my path to becoming a musician. I’d been into lots of “alternative” or “college music” like Throwing Muses, Pixies, The Breeders, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Depeche Mode, etc. in high school. Anna opened the gateway to indie and punk bands, especially stuff labeled “Riot Grrrl” and “Queercore” and suddenly playing music seemed so accessible. And not just accessible, but vital and necessary. Bands like Bikini Kill, Heavens To Betsy, Huggy Bear, Bratmobile, Team Dresch and God Is My Co-Pilot were making music I’d never even dreamed could exist. I remember sitting in a music listening room on campus with a turntable and headphones. In my hands was the first Bikini Kill EP and the EP of “Feed The Tree” by Belly, a perfect juxtaposition that represents a lot of my musical tastes to this day. As I sat there with my headphones on and listened to Kathleen Hanna’s voice howling, cooing, hissing and shouting in my ears, I was mesmerized. I’d never heard anyone sing about things the way she did. I felt energized and excited and like all these things were possible that hadn’t been before.

I was also lucky enough to be on a campus with students dedicated to putting on some really awesome indie/punk shows. One such bill was made up by indie heartthrobs Versus and Tsunami and an Illinois area band, Corndolly. Their drummer, Angie Heaton, was AMAZING! My friend Anna and I approached her worshipfully to have her sign our 7”s we purchased after the show. We asked her for drumming advice and she recommended listening to our Go-Go’s records, because Gina Schock was a rock solid drummer to learn from. When I made my initial attempts at drumming alone in that little room, I’d sit with a mix tape of songs that had simple beats - the Heavens To Betsy demo tape figured prominently in my early tutelage - and tried to play along, working my way toward the day when Ms. Schock’s beats would fall within my purview.

Eventually, I started to jam with friends. I had purchased a cheap, used, white, no-brand drum kit during a school break and set it up in the aforementioned practice room. Having to keep time with the propulsion of a guitar or bass pushed me from playing in my own head to having to take risks and make up beats. Short-lived “bands” sprung up for weeks at a time - my friend Sarah Michaels and I jamming out in a two-piece indie rock fashion; two awesome freshmen - Chris Weill and Bec Stupak - joined me in a whiskey-fueled, The Gories-influenced garagey/rockabilly moment that lasted maybe two practices.

My first real band was a two-piece with my friend, guitarist and hairstylist Joseph Esturo, who played in an awesome NYC area queerpunk quartet, Nilla. Our band was dubbed Flat Stanley, after a favorite children’s book. We would practice in a by-the-hour studio neat Joseph’s house in Long Island. Our first practice yielded two amazing events: my first full-kit fill and a blood blister on my right index finger in the shape of a heart. My love of playing the drums was branded on me. Flat Stanley played one show, opening for Cheesecake, Nilla and Vitapup at The Garage, an amazing indoor/outdoor show space in Manhattan’s Alphabet City neighborhood. I can still see the audience in my terrified mind’s eye. We played three and a half songs, the half song being a partial cover of “Vicky’s Box” by Throwing Muses. Melissa York, then drummer for Vitapup and future drummer for Team Dresch, The Butchies, etc. and an early drumming idol of mine was there and I was almost embarrassed to play in front of such greatness. I messed up a bit in one song but it went pretty well and I think people enjoyed it. Flat Stanley didn’t do much after that, but I was hooked on playing live. It was such a rush, despite the terror. I went on to play in a band my senior year with two rad freshmen women, one of whom shared a mutual love of Sleater-Kinney with me and knew how much I was influenced by/longed to be as skilled as Janet Weiss and her drumming mastery. We dubbed ourselves Trauma Team and played one show at the campus coffee house. It also yielded the first photo of me behind the kit and began the trend of lots of photos that, if taken at the right (or wrong) moment, made me look like I was just sitting there doing nothing. Hence my love of the photo above!

Over the years I played in more and more bands. I moved to Lincoln, NE for 18 months in 1998-1999 and played in Fashion Sense - a three piece punk band that played out a bunch locally and got to do a rad Homocore Minneapolis show with The Butchies and The Need, and The Bee’s Knees, a short-lived indie pop two-piece with my friend David Frederickson from The Prids. Both bands had me playing drums and singing, a skill which I would develop even more once I moved back to NYC and started my first, long-term band, the new wave/no wave/punk quartet, Crowns on 45, with founding members Heather Hellskiss and Ernesto Foronda, later joined by Hillary Johnson, Jed Smith and Aisha Baghat (with interim bassists Douglas Wolk and Greg Griffith). Even though we got caught in the midst of the twin explosions of Electroclash and the whole Yeah Yeah Yeahs/White Stripes garage rock revival, Crowns on 45 managed to build a good-sized following in NYC/Brooklyn and we played all over the place in our three years together. C45 was the band where I went from saying “I play the drums” to “I’m a drummer”. It’s when I began identifying as a musician and got a lot stronger behind the kit and on stage. After an early C45 show, Tammy Rae Carland (a friend of my bandmate’s and co-owner of Mr. Lady Records) referred to me as “a gay male Melissa York”. SWOON!! Alongside my time in Crowns, I did stints touring with my friend Greg Der Ananian’s band, Prettypony, and local power pop band Lipkandy.

I moved to San Francisco in 2003 and quickly formed Ex-Boyfriends with Colin Daly and Peter Harb. We played together for almost 8 and a half years before going on hiatus, recorded three albums, were a Spin.com Band of The Day in February 2006 (and came really close to winning for Underground Band of the Year) and even got to play a coveted SXSW showcase that same year. EXBF got some press love from both the indie world and the gay world, which always makes for some amusing “People who bought this also bought…” moments on Amazon and iTunes. We were voted Best Indie Band in the 2008 SF Bay Guardian Reader’s Poll right after a super shitty, mini-tour of the Pacific Northwest made us wonder if we sucked and should just pack it in. We shot a video for our song “Situation” in the basement of the Armory Building, where I used to work as an office manager for BDSM porn titans, Kink.com. Another video, a sort of mini film shot by the mega-talented Love Ablan, for our song “Uh-Oh!”, was appropriately released on Valentine’s Day 2011 and has made its way to both national and international LGBT film festivals. Although we are largely unknown in the massive world of media and entertainment, it was always flattering, amazing and humbling to us that people knew who we were outside of our own little city.

And now I’m currently in a really fun, loud, fast, kickass band, Zbörnak, with my friend Greg (formerly of Prettypony) and our awesome new friends and partners in rock, Rob Harford and Laura Bagnato. It’s really incredible for this wheezy little asthmatic kid to realize he’s been bashing away at the drums for almost two decades! I still listen to the bands and musicians that influenced me in my rudimentary, beginning days. I never took a lesson but I had so many great drumming teachers who never knew they helped me learn and grow so much. I’ve always admired musical drummers, the ones who make the songs they play on so distinct; who go beyond mere beat-keeping and who give the songs a sound of their own that no one else could quite replicate: Janet Weiss, David Narcizo, Melissa York, Rachel Carns, Tobi Vail, Gina Schock, Scott Plouf, Patty Schemel, Angie Heaton, Sara Lund, David Lovering, Clem Burke, Budgie and the list goes on and on. A number of the drummers I love are women, a fact that should not be remarkable at all but still is in the sexist, boys club of rock music. In fact, without women behind the kit, I would never have become a drummer, because they were my early teachers and influences. In my time as a drummer, I’ve had a few people tell me that I helped to inspire or influence them in some way and I am always so humbled, honored and flattered to hear that. Coming from a DIY/punk/indie background is what made me who I am as a musician, so I love that I can help pass that along in some little way. I often say that I will play the drums until my hands can’t hold the sticks anymore. Hopefully that won’t be until I’m around 90 or something!

13 more to go.

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 10:30:09 -0700

I’m always envious of memoirists. It seems like such a baffling concept to be able to look back at your life and retell it in such detail. And while I realize that a lot of people who do so have kept extensive, detailed journals, I always assume they’re lying just a little bit. I mean, sure, I can remember snapshots of various moments of my life, but enough to fill a book with a clean, linear (or even artsy, non-linear) narrative? Highly dubious. But I also realize my memory is maybe a bit tricky. But isn’t everyone’s?

I’ve always felt like certain people are good at remembering certain things and others aren’t. My friend Alyscia can remember historical information like her brain is a living encyclopedia. My housemate Philip can tell detailed stories of the many bands that traversed through the punk club he managed in Atlanta in the 70s and 80s. I have excellent visual recognition and can remember what someone was wearing the first time I met them or what their hair looked like. But I am horrible with names - it takes 3-4 visits from a client before I can see a name on my schedule and put a face to it - and even worse with birthdays. Even with Facebook I *still* manage to forget to wish some friends a happy birthday. And I’ve also had family members - my Mom, my step-sister - recount events that I was a part of and have absolutely zero recollection of them. And these aren’t events that happened when I was an infant. But rather when I was6, 9, 13, etc.

I’ve always assumed this was due to the fact that I was A Sickly Child. I spent a lot of time in my head, my imagination, my own little world because my body was not the most fun place to be. I can recall sitting on the grass on the steps in front of my house inventing intricate superhero and super villain teams out of various action figures and engaging them in epic battles, grand dramas and often putting several of them in a bowl of water in the freezer until their teammates could rescue them with a “heat ray”. (Hot water from the kitchen sink!) I can pick up an issue of a comic book that I haven’t laid eyes on in over a decade and predict almost every panel before I see it. I can picture an actor or musician in my mind’s eye, blank on the name and wish aloud for a device that could just scan my mind’s eye and give me the Google results.

I think that’s why I’ve been drawn to various types of blogging for years. It’s a way for me to look back at a document of something from my past and recall what I was doing at a given moment; what I was concerned with, experiencing, thinking, wearing. I find myself wondering if I should start buying crossword puzzle books and other things to help stimulate and strengthen my memory as each year goes by. But then I realize I have the lyrics to hundreds, even thousands of songs memorized. That I could sit down and recreate drum parts from songs I haven’t played in over a dozen years. And I’ll be the first person to notice some minute change you’ve made in your personal appearance because my brain has your locked in its personal image bank. So when someone finally invents the aforementioned device I’ll just press it against my skull and shake out a really non-linear book for you to read.

14 posts from now and I'll be at 5000 posts.

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 14:05:17 -0700

I’m thinking of stopping at a nice, round number like 5000. This is a lot of time wasting and protracted distraction. I’ll still do my hair blog and follow people there. But this has begun to feel like something I don’t need to maintain.

Lovely view. (at Elia’s Fab Mini)

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 13:20:15 -0700

Lovely view. (at Elia’s Fab Mini)

Snake loves Madigan. (at Honeycomb Salon)

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 13:12:42 -0700

Snake loves Madigan. (at Honeycomb Salon)

fotzepolitic: vintagegal: Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, 1960’s

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 12:23:10 -0700

fotzepolitic:

vintagegal: Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, 1960’s

sturtle: This pic could’ve easily been taken about seven years...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 12:23:02 -0700

sturtle:

This pic could’ve easily been taken about seven years ago here in New Orleans, but in fact, it was taken yesterday in Long Beach, NY, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

If you’re able to contribute to relief efforts in the Northeast, there are several ways to do so. Remember, though: at this stage in the game, most organizations prefer cash gifts. While donations of canned goods and clothing are great, they’re not so useful during near-term rescue and recovery work. Consider giving to:

The American Red Cross, which is operating nearly 200 emergency shelters along the East Coast and has a growing army of relief workers in the area. You can donate online, or you can text the word REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 gift. Or you could do it the old-fashioned way and call 800-RED-CROSS.

The ASPCA, which is helping pets, livestock, wildlife, and other animals impacted by the storm. Donate online at ASPCA.org.

Michael’s badass Snake Plisskin costume! (at Honeycomb...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 11:47:31 -0700

Michael’s badass Snake Plisskin costume! (at Honeycomb Salon)

Full view of my awesomely undead PE Teacher costume. Do the...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 11:29:59 -0700

Full view of my awesomely undead PE Teacher costume. Do the obstacle course or I’ll eat your soul!!

Undead PE Teacher comin’ to get you!! (at Honeycomb Salon)

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 10:57:00 -0700

Undead PE Teacher comin’ to get you!! (at Honeycomb Salon)

Oh, ABC7, really?! (at MUNI Bus Stop - Geary & Divisidero)

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 09:57:43 -0700

Oh, ABC7, really?! (at MUNI Bus Stop - Geary & Divisidero)

nomi-malone: billiethepoet: mxdp: ITV ordered Vicious Old...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 00:17:39 -0700

nomi-malone:

billiethepoet:

mxdp:

ITV ordered Vicious Old Queens, a sitcom starring Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi as an elderly gay couple living in Covent Garden

Yes. Very good. Very very good.

We’re going to be watching the hell out of this, right?

Fuck yes.

OOOH!

“I wanna lllllick it! I wanna lick it! Head to toe! Head...

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:49:29 -0700

“I wanna lllllick it! I wanna lick it! Head to toe! Head to toe!”

“SINGLE AND LLLLLOVING IT!!!” I think this is the...

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:35:00 -0700

“SINGLE AND LLLLLOVING IT!!!”

I think this is the introduction of Helen Madden, Licensed Joyologist; one of my favorite Molly Shannon characters ever.

Historical moment! A friend of mine in college once told me this...

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:25:35 -0700

Historical moment! A friend of mine in college once told me this is how taggers dis other taggers. I’ve never seen it until now!

$35 PF Flyers from Crossroads. Score!

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:23:37 -0700

$35 PF Flyers from Crossroads. Score!

If you insist! (at People’s Cafe)

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:15:32 -0700

If you insist! (at People’s Cafe)